STPM

Getting Smarter:

The objective of STPM is to pass people?
How do you explain the fact that 87% of the students passed the
examinations of the Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia (STPM) recently?
When during your grandfather's time only 10% would have passed?
Are students getting smarter? Or are STPM questions getting easier?

Let me put things in their proper perspective.

During your grandfather's time, they would ask exam questions like:

In what year did Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka?

The correct answer was "1402", and they found that only 10% of the students managed to answer the question correctly. This didn't go down too well with the authorities, because the objective of the exams was to pass people.

I mean, what's the point of having exams if people fail?

So later, they found another way to ask the same question:

Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year:
(a) 2001
(b) 2004
© 1986
(d) 1975
(e) 1402
Tick the correct answer.

The results were better in that 20% of the students passed. But it was still not good enough, so the authorities tried a different tact a few years later.

Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year1402. True or false?

Well, half of the students guessed "True" and the other half guessed "False". Fully 50% passed. The results were getting pretty acceptable by now.

Most other countries would be satisfied with a 50% passing rate, but not us. We are a better country, because we are a boleh country.The authorities then cracked their heads and then came out with this one:

Read the following sentence carefully.
"Parameswara, the cousin of Proton-Iswara, founded the kingdom of Melaka in the year 1402." Underline the name of the person who founded Melaka.

60% underlined "Parameswara", 30% underlined "Proton-Iswara" and 10% underlined "1402". Hooiyoh......60% managed to pass! So krever!

But for some reason, the authorities were still not contented. So last year, they came out with this gem:

One day in the year 1402, Parameswara founded the kingdom of Melaka. Then he went home to have dinner. What did he eat?

13% handed in blank answers, 57% wrote "Maggi Mee", and 10% wrote "Kentucky Fried Chicken", and 20% wrote "Tree bark".

The official answer was "Food" of course!

So it's true. The students are indeed getting smarter.




got this from the Jokes section in Lowyat.net. STPM-ers this year, GOOD LUCK!

That day

A very long post. Also a long overdue one. SO bear with me.

Reached there early, for breakfast. Saw sir and he asked me to open up the hq. Came down and saw Mr Sim. Oh shit. Went to the nearby coffeshop, saw Jeff there. Oh shit again. Never thought all of them were gonna be there. Had breakfast with all of them; sir, madam, Jeff, and Mr Sim. Went back to HQ after that. Sir asked me to carry the box of roof tiles up.

More and more candidates starting to arrive. Zhen was there too. Oh shit AGAIN. Those kids from Green Roads(lets call tehm GR now for convienience sake) arrived. "Ei chuo mek ni hui zhai che pien"(Ei how come you are here?).

Not wanting them to know first," Lai pang mang lo"(come here help lo).

"Ooohhh".They doesnt sound that convinced though which shows thatI am that dam lazy. Or shrewed.

After warm up and stuff, those GR starting to get scared(I assume coz there's a lot of big sized kayu balaks around) and asked"woi then ik sia wo men ken siu spar? cien pu ta ta che thek le"(woi later who/how we spar? all big big size one).

"Jessica le?" Their eyes started to shine when she popped out at the door.

Arranged into positions, bowed, and the game begins. 1st Dan candidates performed their pattens first. We senior took turn commanding. Then the 2nd Dans' turn. When they're almost done, sir shouted "woi epsilon, get ready. your next."

Asked one of the GR to helped me buy a bottle of 100Plus and"ni kan, wo ken ni chiang liau. Tha yu khau tek"(See, I tell u liau. He's one of the candidates.)

"Next, Mr epsilon"Bowed again, begins my pattern. Started with Eui am. It was all silent during that. And when i finished, an applause from the back; from the other candidates and their parents. Felt like Im floating although Im shaking all over. Confirmed by the GRs after that. (Guys Im not bragging nor Im kidding. Its real. ) Continued with Chong Jang and Juche. Then Hwang Gae, Ge Baek and Hwa Rang.

Self defence. Or one step sparring. Not much to say about this part. Except that my poor opponent got thrown on the floor. A LOT. Even sir and those senior in front started laughing like hyenas.

Next sparring. Started with the juniors(as usual la). Took quite a long time. Sir saw that im yawning and thought that I must be bored to death so he put me in some time in the middle. My first victim(the same poor boy who go thrown on the floor by me during the self defence part). Going for his 1st degree. Didn't pummeled him that much though. Then a few rounds later, its him and me again. I dunno why but some how he whispered"sir can don't kick that powerful? Technique only. "(he ACTUALLY called me sir.)I just smiled at him. Dunno what to answer back ma. And my last round of 1-on-1 free sparring; with Jeff. I KNEW IT. Damn. Didn't get pummeled that much from him though. HQ too small and too much people kicking at the same time so can't do anything much.

2 on 1 sparring. Im in the first round. Opponent, Jeff and Zhen. Damn. I knew it. The purpose of them being there despite there's another training in Youth & Sports center that morning. Concentrated my attacks on Jeff since the beginning(he's the sparring coach and that his specialty ma while Zhen is a pattern guy). BIG MISTAKE. That guy, despite his pretty small/medium built, does got some tricks up his sleeve. Ate several kicks from Zhen. And a few more from Jeff. Seems like this is an initiation ritual to join their club..... So basically thats the time I got pummeled myself. When it's all over, Sir and seniors in front was laughing like hyenas again.

Power breaking. Helped to hold the planks for the juniors first so mine was pretty much the last. So when it's my turn, Mr Leong held the plank for me. Suspension punch. The planks where pretty much held with only 3 fingers to break it, speed is essential. Thus, suspension. No problem. Broke it with one attempt. Second, suspension kick. Did not break though. But I get to kick Jeff's hand.(kinda like a payback). Smart Mr Leong asked Jeff to hold it since he knew Im gonna miss.

Remember the roof tiles? It comes into play now. Two pieces for hand techniques, another two pieces for leg techniques. Hand technique first. Since I've used punch previously, so I "experimented" with knife hand strike. Broke only one though. The bottom ones. Don't ask me how that happens though. Leg technique next. Decided to use turning kick since I aced in using this to break stuff. After the two tiles was securely tied to Mr Metal Holder, measure once, measure twice and WHAM. They broke. Not into two pieces, not three, nor four nor five. Seems like it got disintergrated. Must be hundreds of pieces of it now on the floor with lots dust flying around. Heard a loud applause from the back(again, Im not bragging/kidding here)

After the rest of the juniors finished the breaking, all are lined up again. Result time. ".........and Mr epsilon, promoted to 3rd degree black belt."Shake hands, congratulate each other. One of them was the mom of the guy I pummeled earlier. Turns out she's also an ex-GRSS TKD member. Paiseh betul la....

A late(very late) congratulations to those who passed that upgrading. Good job. And remember, being a black belt is not an end. Its merely a new beginning to another chapter of your life in Taekwondo.

A little piece of advice for future black belts. Think carefully if you are up to it. Being another level higher means more responsibility.

some pic. Not much. Busy ma. Sorry for the poor editing though.

Red Fraction

I have a big gun
I took it from Robocop
Sick with justice, i just wanna bang you
Im your angel only a ring away
You make me violate you, no matter who you are
Its all up to you, no one is forever
But burn in hell, by the pigs out there
Its always been hell from when i was born
Then let me violate them, no matter who they are
Get down, on your knees,
Get a good head on your shoulders
Its for you guys, go to the end of the earth
Do, what you think, give it with delication
I put you out of misery
You made a mess, for Christ's sake, this petty world
Shit out of luck
Go with your vision
Light up the fire, right on the power
We're gonne have it all

Red Fraction, MELL

Demotion

I've got demoted..... All thanks to Karate-do(and those other "clans" who delivered less manpower than promised) who fong fei kei the entire demonstration which means every "caln" now needs another 15 extras. Needless to say, yours truly here finally needs to get down and dirty. There goes my so-called privilege of standing around doing nothing :D. Bo pien ma. Not enough black belts around ma. Oh well. Nothing wrong with that except now I actually needs to sweat for real. Only can blame those bastards who fong feikei the entire thing. KNNCCB. I hope you guys break your balls in your next round of sparring and for the females, got your boobs flatten. If you cannot make it tell people earlier la. And if you cannot send that much people, don't promise that much la. KNN this people.

And it seems like our's the most perfect of them all. The "bangga" moment of the day; when then choreographer said" Ok semua, pusing dan lihat bagaimana Taekwondo buat. Ikut macam mereka."
Translate: "Ok guys, everyone turn around and look at how Taekwondo did it. Follow them"

And TaiChi's not as easy as you think. For me that is.

Seems like Im writing a chronicle of my life these few days. More to come. :D

p/s; if you've got no idea what Im crapping/ranting about, read here and here.

Assistant

Not a bad job though. Basically you just stand around, watching people, correcting them, give ideas and stuff like that. Hmmmm...at least I don't have to shout that much. Im new remember? Oh if you guys have no idea what Im talking about, read the previous entry.

Its pretty ok though the rehearsal. The choreographer seems to know what he's doing. And he let us keep the "identity" of each of the martial arts that is gonna go on display. No forcing us to do techniques of the other "clans"(although it might be fun for ME to WATCH). Just some advise on slowing/toning down our techniques(it is only natural that we give all we have) to match the Sajak/syair.

And damn there's this hot chick down at the Tang Soo Do section. The girl in light blue shirt/blouse with sleeve+white long pants, if you are reading this entry, please leave something(email, MSN, Friendster) in the chatterbox or the comment section. It would be inappropriate for me(hey im working there ok?) to approach you and ask for your number there. (your coach might kill me and the other coaches in my clan are gonna throw shoes at me) If you happen to stumble upon this piece of crap in the cyberworld that is.



P/S; If there's any of you ITF guys reading this, I DID NOT OGLE AT GIRLS DURING THE REHEARSAL. I repeat. I DID NOT OGLE AT GIRLS DURING THE REHEARSAL. I was checking on you guys' performances and I somehow caught a glimpse of those pretty girls and it somehow got etched into my memory.

Oh and I'll try to include some pics of the rehearsal here in the next post.

Of Hungry Ghost Festival, Kuching Festival and National Day Celebration

This could be my busiest month of the year. Semester 2 starting and National Day celebration is to be held here in Kuching. And this is also the month of Kuching Festival. Oh before I forget, now is also the time when spirits are allowed to roam freely on earth. According to the Chinese's believe that is.

I've got nothing to do with the last one though but some how I got dragged into doing something for Kuching Festival and 2006 National Day celebration. In conjunction with this year's Kuching Festival(well, practically EVERY year) is the Kuching Martial Arts Festival. It used to be Kuching Street Martial Arts Festival(a somehow failed attempt to make martial arts sound more hip) but this year, thanks to the National Day celebration which is happening during the same time, it is gonna be held in the Hockey Stadium instead of the streets(Song Thian Cheok road, Padungan road). Can't say that this is a blessing though coz' the probability of spotting a hot chick during that is rather low(compared to the "Street" version). One good thing is your's truly here, might not need to get down and durty myself. You see, Im the Assistant Coach. Along with my two cousins and another two 3rd degrees.

And after some pretty long years, the National Day celebration is back in Kuching. What does that got to do with me you may ask(coz usually for me it's just another public holiday). Well again, Im the assistant coach along with two other 3rd degrees. Ping is the chief coach for this and the Kuching Festival's. The rehearsal starts tomorrow evening. Oh damn.

So ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, ahbeng and ahlians, ah kong and ahma, aunty and uncle, do come to support our demonstrations. For the Kuching Martial Arts Festival it's gonna be on the 26th August, 6pm onwards at the Hockey Stadium(the one near MBKS) so after you've grabbed your dinner at the Kuching Festival nearby, do come and look at our free performance. You don't get to see us kick, punch, break and throw people everyday do you?For the National Day celebration, its gonna be on the 24th, 25th, 27th and 28th of August in Waterfront(rehearsal only but still as good. I think) and the actual one will be on 30th of August also in Waterfront. All of these is gonna be in the evening. Oh and don't forget to see us marching on the morning of the 31st in front of the King. :p

24th, 25th, 27th, 28th............rehearsal(Waterfront)
26th of August.......Kuching MArtial Arts Festival(Hockey Stadium)
30th of August....... Actual demonstration(Waterfront)
31st of August..... Marching in front of the King(Padang Merdeka.)

So guys, don forget to turn on your tv(TV1/Tv2 preferably) on the night of 30/8 and the morning of 31/8.

p/s. If u see "big sized" dude standing around doing nothing, probably thats me. :p

7.5 Million

What you gonna do when out of nowhere there's Rm7 500 000(for those having hard time with numbers, its 7.5 MILLION) in your pocket? Of course Im talking about those RM3.30 jackpot ticket that can be purchased from coffeshops and apeks on motorbikes. The last draw the jackpot prize was 6milion while the one before it was 7.5 million. I don't know how they calculate it though. :p

So here's my what Im gonna do with 7.5million in my pocket.

1. Donation. Very important. 500 000 for church and allocate some more for other various charity organisations.
   
2. Parents. 1 000 000 for both of them. Should be enough for them. All these while they were only hoping for the RM100 000 Toto 6D while I, the son are much more greedy. hehe
3. Get my self a car. Something the I've been drooling over since I got my license. First Im gonna get a local one(maybe even a 2nd hand local) to get back my now rusty driving skill. After a while, maybe another Rm100 000 for another new car perhaps?(As long as can see and can drive good enough liau. Im not really a "car person")
4. Get myself a kick-ass luxury condominium. 3 bedroom should be enough. Master bedroom for my, a guest room , and a work/recreation room with . Rm 500 000 perhaps?
   
5. Total everything up, I still have around 5.4 million lying around. So gonna use 1 million for other miscallenous expenditure. Dinner treats, kick-ass phones, electronics, furnitures, entertainment system etc.
   
6. 4.4 Million left. This is going into super low-risk investment such as FDs(Fixed Deposits), savings. Maybe save some for mutual funds and other low-risk investment. A kind soul in lowyat.net help me calculate that with 4Million inside FD, Im gonna get around RM10 000++ each month minus tax. with these, I can allocated some more for No. 1. And it should be able to keep me fed and dressed for a while. Unless a war broke up or there's another big economic recession then Im in deep shit.
   
7. Continue with my degree program. Now that Im financially independent from my parents, there's nothing much to worry about anymore.
   

So there you have it. My dream financial plan. Of course It'll only work if I strike that Jackpot.

Hours of waiting

Its gonna be out in a few hours. And Im still here blogging. This must have been one of the worse feeling ever. Waiting for something that might or might not happen in favour of me. Im here talking to the cat and letting him play with my hair. Must be starting to go nuts. Oh Lord I know I've been a bad boy(a really bad one) but could you let me pass though this one with no problem at all? Pretty please? I promise Im gonna try my best to be good boy after this.

On the side note, after 10 long years, Im gonna get a room of my own. Someone's gonna get evicted to the new room once it is ready and I get to stay in my old ones. Which got all my stuff and more importantly; my smell. You heard me right. My smell. As weird as it may seem but I do rely a lot on my sense of smell. A unique sense might trigger and my brain automatically register all the entire environment Im in. For example, smelling the smell of rain gonna bring back my memory of being in Primary One. Specifically, the very first day of primary one. It rained like hell that day and my brain registered that smell with that environment. And of course, the smell of my loyal, trusty, lovely yet smelly pillow brings a sense of being loved. Weird huh?

Faedah Menonton Porn

One of those apes asked/challenged me; "what do you get from watching porn?"

My answer to him

1. You can learn things that is not taught in school.
2. Give you knowledge of which hole to poke when the time comes.
• Or you wanna call your mommy and ask
3. Give you the knowledge of how to please your partner.
4. Teach you on how to maximise the fun.
5. Helps take the shyness away during the "first time".
6. Learn how to use condoms and stuff.

I only got to number 3 before he begged me to change topic. Bunch of pussies.....

Still waiting for pictures from shon's camera to compose SY's Birthday Aftermath Report Part 2

Limpeh angmoh better than you le...

If I remember correctly, there's this ruckus about the enggrish level of our students not too long ago. And I think I found the reason why.

The pictures I posted below are screenshots from one of the assholes that taught me this semester. Notice how good his enggrish is. Sorry my photoshop skill's not 1337 so I cant edit the pictures to fit into the width of my blog. Here's the link to the pic. It would not be easy to notice the 1337ness of his enggrish but read again carefully.

Stupid Lecturer 1

Stupid Lecturer 2

Stupid Lecturer 3

Qualification
Notice the university that gave him PhD? We are so screwed if we keep rewarding PhD to people with this level of Enggerish.

Aftermath report

The birthday went pretty well. Renovated KFC. Got some attention from other patrons. People thought we were nuts. No cakes/water balloons/flours flying around though. Damn. Stayed in KFC for two hours plus and thus therefore hog the entire section for that perio of time. The staff were nice enough to tolerate our insanity. Thank you staff-from-3rd-mile-KFC for that.

One our way back to school some one's car got stopped by JPJ for tinted glass. The one Im in also almost got into the same shit since I "misplaced" my seatbelt. Sorry bokep.
Anyway back to the tinted-glass-car. It was her brother's fault for tinting the car but it was the sister's name who got into JPJ's warning list. He's so dead. And since it's JPJ there's no "Bang boleh settle sini ka?" crap. Kurus and the female driver got free lecture on "Keburukan Mentinting kereta". The only damage done I guess was phycological scar to the female driver and a warning letter from JPJ with her name. I dunno what's gonna happen to her brother though.

Here's the pic of the event. Gonna post summore if I found any worth posting.

renovating KFC 1



renovating KFC 2



renovating KFC 3



Finally.....



Notice the lamp?



I had no idea how he got there



Miraculously only a tiny bit of these got onto those apes faces.



Discovery of fire



He found joy in fire. It has just been dicovered remember?



I knew there's something wrong with him all along. Notice the tongue



Hisap rokok? No. Hisap Ganja? No. Hisap gam? No. We even more "keng". We hisap lilin.



Me, birthday girl, and oh well...., both our shirt are pink and were given by those bunch of apes. Apparently apes love pink.



Those KFC dude was so happy that we were leaving that he helped us took the photo. (we "renovated" their place remember?)



Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday SY!

laupanniang's birthday later. so gonna get my revenge. Gonna post pictures of the aftermath later. If there's any camera left alive that is. KFC'c not going to be the same after this. Muahahahaha.